As Christmas approaches, many families look forward to coming together to celebrate. However, for separated parents, this time of year can present unique challenges when it comes to making arrangements for their children. The prospect of co-parenting during the festive season can feel daunting, especially since there is no one-size-fits-all solution. What worked last year may not apply this year, and each family has its own expectations, routines, and needs.
Common Co-Parenting Challenges During Christmas
When planning for the festive period, several common issues may arise:
- Christmas presents: Avoiding duplication and ensuring thoughtful gifts.
- Arrangements for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, and New Year’s celebrations: Balancing time between both parents.
- Handover times: Coordinating smooth transitions.
- Indirect contact: Maintaining communication through phone or video calls.
- Extended family visits: Including grandparents and other relatives.
- New partners: Getting accustomed to the presence of new significant others.
- Travel plans: Managing trips within the UK or holidays abroad.
- Future arrangements: Planning for the following year’s celebrations.
To minimise conflict and resentment, it is vital for parents to set aside differences and prioritise their children’s happiness.
Options for Co-Parenting Arrangements at Christmas
If you and your co-parent have not yet reached an agreement, consider the following options for dividing the festive period:
- Half-Day Splits: One parent can have the children on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, while the other parent takes over at midday. This arrangement can alternate each year to ensure fairness.
- Two-Week Division: The children can spend the first half of the holidays with one parent and the second half with the other. This allows them to celebrate Christmas with one parent and New Year with the other, alternating each year. This can work well if parent’s live further apart.
- Two Christmases: The children can celebrate Christmas twice—once on Christmas Day with one parent and again on an agreed date with the other parent. This arrangement can also alternate annually.
- Joint Celebration: If you and your co-parent maintain a cordial relationship, consider spending Christmas Day together with the children. However, it’s important to assess whether this arrangement is beneficial for the children and to consider the presence of new partners.
Parenting Apps
Parenting apps can be good tools for facilitating co-parenting. An example of this is Our Family Wizard. Both parents can download the app, and it can be used to:
- Have constructive conversations around sensitive issues such as the division of Christmas presents, extended family visits and the presence of new partners. The app has in-built features aimed at reducing the use of inflammatory language.
- Create an interactive co-parenting calendar together with your ex-partner, where you can agree and alternate your schedules in real time.
- Schedule audio and video calling at Christmas, this may be important if one parent is spending Christmas apart from their children for the first time.
Addressing Disagreements: Mediation and Legal Options
If reaching an agreement directly with the other parent proves difficult, mediation can be a helpful step. A mediator is a trained professional who can facilitate discussions between you and your co-parent, helping you find common ground. The format of mediation is highly flexible and gives you control over the process, unlike in court proceedings.
While they cannot provide legal advice or make binding decisions, mediation is often quicker and more cost-effective than court proceedings. If mediation does not lead to a resolution, you may need to consider legal options, such as initiating arbitration, or as a last resort, court proceedings.
If court proceedings are necessary, this would likely involve an application for a specific issues order to decide Christmas arrangements for the children. This is an order which will set out how the children’s time should be shared between the parents including on Christmas Day.
However, it may be many months before can take place. The court will only arrange an urgent hearing if a child is at risk of harm, and this would not include a situation where Christmas arrangements can’t be agreed. It is important therefore to address Christmas arrangements in good time.
Seeking Support
At our firm, we understand the difficulty of co-parenting during the festive season. If you are facing challenges regarding Christmas arrangements with your co-parent, we are here to help you navigate this important time of year.
By prioritising your children’s wellbeing and maintaining open communication, you can create a festive season that is enjoyable for everyone involved.
If you’d like to contact a member of our team, simply fill out our online contact form or give us a call on 0330 111 3131.