For children, having both parents play an active role in their day to day life, despite a relationship breakdown, will often be the best outcome for their welfare. Sharing parenting responsibilities will also mean you don’t have to manage the whole load yourself.
There may well have been parenting roles that each of you slipped into when living together. On separation, readjusting to managing the upkeep of the home, looking after the kids and more often than not, holding down a job, can be overwhelming. This, overwhelming feeling can be made even more complicated by the cocktail of mixed emotions from the breakdown of the relationship with the other parent. Often, this can be what leads to arguments between co-parents.
We understand it’s not easy. Everyone involved will be adjusting: you, your ex and your children. Yes, there are bound to be obstacles, but (subject of course to any issues of domestic abuse) it’s how you approach and manage them in light of the children’s welfare that matters the most.
The kids come first
Co-parenting can be easier said than done. Dealing with the emotions relating to your ex can be challenging. In the long run though, focusing on the children’s welfare should improve your co-parenting relationship with your ex and help ensure your kids’ opinions aren’t affected by your feelings about your ex.
Remember that all decisions you need to make with the other co-parent should be for the benefit of your children’s wellbeing. Protecting their mental and emotional wellbeing while adjusting to their new lives is paramount. As amicable and positive an approach as possible to co-parenting will benefit their emotional state and hopefully help minimise anxiety and potential behavioural issues.
By putting the wellbeing of your children first, you will have a common goal which should also help minimise disagreements with your ex. .
Professional Support
Navigating the landscape of co-parenting is often far from straightforward.
What helps following a relationship breakdown is the support of a professional who can advise on best practices in co-parenting, and encourage calm and sensible discussions with the other parent. Resolution-trained family law solicitors can offer guidance on considerations for the children, both long and short term, including by mediation and other non-court methods.
Agreeing on the arrangements for children from the outset can help minimise the risk of fallouts further down the line. Some specific elements to consider are as follows:
Short Term
- Achieving good handovers
- The arrangements for any upcoming special occasions, e.g. birthdays, Christmas, etc.
- How will you and the other co-parent communicate?
- Helping the children adapt to having two homes and/or different sets of house rules
Long Term
- Decisions on the children’s education, e.g. which school will the children attend?
- Medical decisions relating to the children
- The long-term arrangements for the children (including during school holidays)
- Planning and attending big life events
- The role of extended family and grandparents in the children’s lives
Resolution
Resolution is a community of professionals who specialise in family matters. They have a common goal: to reach agreements in a constructive and conflict-free manner.
At Slater Heelis, our friendly, expert, and approachable family law team are Resolution-trained and come very highly recommended by clients on Review Solicitors.
We can assist you in your adjustment to co-parenting, and any other elements of relationship breakdown you may need legal support with.
Please do not hesitate to reach out for support. We’re here to help.
You can get in touch via our confidential contact form or call us on 0161 969 3131.