October is Domestic Violence Awareness month and with 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men being victims of domestic abuse, it is clear domestic abuse can happen to anyone. If you are experiencing it, it is important to know that you are not alone.
Occurring in the home means it is hidden and goes largely unreported. Many victims are too scared to speak out and carry on living with their abuser.
We spoke with Hannah Costley from our Crime and Regulatory team about why many victims choose not to seek help:
“The idea that men have to be strong, powerful and macho is ingrained in us from a young age and I believe that it is the driving force behind the low number of men reporting violence. It is entrenched in shame and embarrassment for failing to be society’s definition of ‘a man’.
“ Moreover, there is the belief that women only perpetrate violence against men in self-defence. Whilst this is not untrue, it is a dangerous absolute and diminishes the claims of men who are subjected to physical violence.”
She also explains how culture can hold people back from reporting domestic violence;
“Culture can also be a barrier as there are certain expectations for the family dynamic. Finally, men in same-sex relationships may not be open with their sexuality and so reporting violence to anyone could jeopardise their secret, or in some cases, their safety.”
Understanding domestic abuse, the signs to look out for and how to access support, will help keep you and your loved ones safe.
What constitutes domestic abuse?
Domestic abuse can be defined as an incident or any pattern of incidents of manipulative and controlling behaviour within any relationship in the home. It is used to gain and/ or maintain power and takes many forms. A lot of the cases our team deal with are between children and their parents, not just between partners.
Domestic abuse can be experienced by people of all ages, genders and ethnic groups. It can include:
- Physical abuse – any act which causes injury to the physical body.
- Psychological abuse – any act which causes emotional trauma.
- Sexual abuse – any unwanted sexual behaviour.
- Harassment – unwanted behaviour that makes the victim feel unsafe and intimated.
- Control and coercion – a pattern of assault, threats, humiliation, exploitation and intimidation. It is used to harm, frighten, and make the victim dependent on the perpetrator.
- Financial abuse – a perpetrator limiting and controlling a victim’s freedom to use their money or family assets, leaving them with little access to independent income or resources
Take note of any manipulative and controlling behaviours shown towards you by anyone in your home setting.
Signs of an abusive relationship
Many people do not realise they are being abused due to the many forms that it can take. This Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we are urging you to spot the signs.
The following behaviours are ones to look out for and may suggest that you, or someone close to you, are in an abusive relationship.
We urge people to check in with their extended family and friends who may seem like they’re acting out of character. Often it can be friends and family who identify unusual behaviour which can be signs of someone experiencing domestic violence.
It is important to note that this is not an exhaustive list and should only be used as examples.
- Insults e.g. looks/ intelligence/ capabilities.
- Possessive behaviour – Checking up on you and not wanting you to be around certain people.
- Jealous behaviour – Accusations of not being faithful/ having an affair.
- Threatening behaviour – Towards yourself or your family members.
- Controlling your finances
- Physical attacks on you e.g. hitting, pushing, pinching.
- Controlling the way you look/dress
- Blaming you for their behaviour towards you, or ‘gas-lighting’ you.
Accessing help and support
Accessing help can be incredibly difficult and takes a lot of courage. The following list provides a range of support that is ready for when you need it.
If you are in immediate danger, call 999 and ask for the police. If you can’t speak and are calling on a mobile, press 55 to have your call transferred to the police. The police officer will then try to make contact with you by asking simple yes or no questions.
See more here.
For free and confidential support, call any of the helplines on this page.
Claire’s Law allows partner’s to access information on whether they have a history of domestic abuse. It helps individuals know whether their partner poses a risk.
Find out more about Claire’s Law.
Bright Sky is a phone app that helps victims and their loved ones. It helps individuals identify signs of abuse, how to respond and how to support others experiencing domestic abuse.
Download the app.
Speak with a Solicitor this Domestic Violence Awareness Month
We understand how hard and complex domestic abuse cases are. When you or your loved one is ready to seek support, our Family Law team will be by your side. Specialists in supporting people leaving abusive relationships, our domestic abuse solicitors will be with you every step of the way. We will always act in a sensitive and understanding way to ensure the best outcome for you.
We hope that we can play a part in sharing the warning signs of abuse this Domestic Violence Awareness month. To contact our family law team call us on 0161 969 3131 or fill in our contact form and one of the team will be in touch.